Stalling

My friend J. wrote me an email the other evening, and said that my blog is stalling. Yeah, it is. I could be dishonest (or at least exaggerate) and say that I've been too busy, and that our internet connection has been unstable (both true, to some extent). But the real reason for my absence is that I've retreated into an autumn state of mind that is quiet and private and that isn't conducive to the more public action of writing a blog.

In brief, I didn't feel like it.

But now I do, so here I am. Yes, dear readers, you are victims of my most fleeting whims and fancies.

So, an update is in order: Henry is doing well, recovering from a bout of croup that appeared this weekend. Today is a beautiful and cool fall day but snow is in the forecast for tomorrow. There are a hundred things I should be doing: getting the gardens cut back and mulched, transplanting things, cutting back the rampant raspberry patch, but all I do is yawn and look out the window. The trees in the back woods have flamed into yellow and gold.

Today is my writing day, and I'll soon head out. I think my writing and blogging lives suffer from how isolated I am right now -- how little time I spend interacting with other people, moving about in the world and experiencing some randomness and unpredictability. When I had a job (at a big university where all kinds of people moved about like ants swarming over a hill), that kind of randomness was built in. It was part of that life.

But now, in my stay-at-home-mom life, in my quiet little neighborhood, in my quiet little house, where I often feel I am living my life between the dryer's buzz and the ping of the oven timer, I have to make a conscious effort to seek it out.

Maybe I'll go to a bar.

Nah, that's not what I need. But there is something in that atmosphere that I'm looking for -- that group of somewhat randomly self-selected people ("Hey, let's go in here and get a drink"), the collision of different personalities and attitudes fueled by the intoxicating effects of gettin' liquored up.