...due to:
Stress (worries over baby/pregnancy and Henry -- although everything is going fine, so I guess I could call that neuroses)
Illness (last night I coughed so hard I wet my pants. That healthy pregnancy glow? Embarrassment due to incontinence.)
Indecisiveness in the form of several blog posts written and then deleted, as said posts were either too rant-y or too whingey (that's whiny for you non-Anglophiles)
Preoccupation with cable television, to wit: many episodes of "The First 48" and a couple episodes of (you know I must love you, gentle readers, when I reveal so much) "Millionaire Matchmaker" -- the latter featuring one of *the* must amusing moments on television:
Millionaire/Philanthropist, to inevitably younger, blonder date (paraphrase): Last year I helped feed [some number of] hungry families...a lot of people go hungry in poorer areas of the country.
Date: Oh. I'm trying to cut back on carbs?...(question mark = vocal uptick common to "valley girls", bimbos and bimbos-in-training everywhere)
What to do?
Re. the stress: the weekly doctor visits are reassuring. The cervix is long and closed (that's my mantra: looonnngggg [breathe in] and clooossssed [breathe out]). Baby is active and doing well.
Henry is also doing well (although he shares in the most recent illness). The rant(s) I wrote have to do with some really nasty, mean-spirited people who say and do stupid, obnoxious, ignorant and hurtful things re. autism. And I won't give in and rant now, because the most sensible thing is to deny these people any more publicity and voice than they already have. And spare myself some anxiety by mulling over this crap all over again. 'Nuff said.
Illness: well, it's passing. It's just your average cold/fever/I-sound-like-Bob-Hoskins thing. I gave in and took some cough medicine after last night's Depends episode, then had weird perseverative thoughts, such as "Why do people on TV shows and in movies always have celery stalks sticking out of the tops of their grocery bags?" I lay awake and thought about this for a long time. Medication? Lack of sleep? Fever? I don't know. But it's true: it's always celery. Never, say, chervil.
Cable television: I watched two more episodes of "The First 48" tonight, and then part II of "Pride and Prejudice." Like all sensible women, I love Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy. Particularly stunning moment tonight when Mr. D, perspiring from his long horseback ride, plunges into the pond fully clothed (though I did worry about the condition of his boots). I could almost smell the man-sweat. I love man-sweat. Caveat: not the off-putting, insane-man, live-in-a-hovel, weeks-unwashed type of man-sweat, but the heavenly whiff of slightly exerted male.
Indecisiveness: sometimes it helps just to type out those rants, even if I don't post. It's a kind of purging, a cleansing, which perhaps will allow me to write -- in future -- a more measured and reasonable post, something thoughtful and profound, something far less angry, vulgar, and vituperative than what I wrote last week. Especially about that ass-wipe in Texas, who thinks that public education funds shouldn't be spent on kids (like my son) who will "never be contributing members of society."
Yes, something like that really deserves a calm, measured, and reasonable response.
Prick.
There!
So much better.
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